Navigating the Juggle
By Becki Nazareth, Mum of 2 and Co-Founder of Wonderful Brilliant
Ever get the feeling that you’re not quite nailing this work-life juggle? I often say I feel like I’ve run a marathon before work, with two young kids, two different childcare settings, two working parents…that’s kind of unsurprising right?
More than 70% of parents with young children believe it is getting harder every year to be a parent in Britain (Unicef, 2023). I always think it’s worth calling out that it feels hard because it IS hard, regardless of the joy our kids bring us. Dr. Gabor Maté, expert speaker and author, states that “it is the hardest time to mother since the second world war.” So perhaps the starting point is being a little kinder to yourself and then reflecting on where you should be focusing your energy
It’s worth adding here that I am an accredited ICF Coach that specialises in parent transition support with a background in transformative behaviour change, YET I still find myself struggling at times with navigating this juggle. Shifting my mindset over time has been game changing for me, read on to learn more about how to manage your ‘work-life fit’,
If you take away one thing- start using “fit” not balance. Balance is elusive, it implies that perfect exists and we just haven’t found it yet. When in reality, our work-life fit needs to flex and adapt based on what is going on for us, our families and our work at any given point. My fit in the school holidays, when my son needed me more, was entirely different to my fit now. My fit changes in intense work weeks and when my kids get sick. Adjusting your mindset to being adaptable and focusing on your priorities is key to this.
Image showing a quote on ‘work-life fit’ and 4 coloured puzzle pieces.
How do we know what to prioritise? It comes down to what you value and this can often change as we become parents. Being able to articulate what is important to you and why (known as your core values) can help you to make decisions around where you direct your energy and time. This is always my starting place with my coaching clients, but it can be achieved with self-reflection; I recommend working through “Exploring your Values” by AmazingIF.
Reflect…often. I often use the ‘Wheel of Life’ with my clients, a visual tool that can be useful to aid your reflection in just 5 mins (because let’s be honest time is not something we have at our disposal as a parent.) If you haven’t had time to figure out your values, spend 10 minute working through this handout. The activity and reflection questions will help you to become more aware of what might be right and more likely what might be wrong with your current work-life fit.
Manage your energy aka “how full is your cup?” By the time I have dropped my kids at childcare, it can feel pretty empty so this needs to be addressed to support me being my best at work. Sometimes a 5 min sit down with a cup of coffee sorts me out, sometimes I need something more. So ask yourself how full is your cup? What is taking your energy right now? What are you doing to fill your cup up? And then commit to doing something to rebalance, this could be anything from going to a class each week to giving yourself 15 mins between work calls at work. Start to prioritise yourself, you’d be amazed at the ripple effect it has on how you parent and work (your brain’s stress response and the impact that has on your health proves this!)
Set clear boundaries: Once you’ve done the above you’ll have a pretty good idea of what you want your work-life fit to look like and a few things you can change to help you achieve it. Boundaries are going to keep you in check. I know the more I break my boundaries, the more my energy will be depleted and therefore it needs to be a conscious choice. So what boundaries do you have right now (if any)? What boundaries could you put in place that would support you achieving a better work-life fit? Try holding one for the next few weeks and note the impact it has on how you feel.
It may not sound complex but making these adjustments to support your work-life fit means changing habitual behaviour patterns, and that takes time. One thing proven to support this change is finding yourself an accountability partner, somebody who can support and challenge you when you need it. Consider who that could be and then share what you’d like to change and how you’d like them to be there for you.
Good luck and be kind to yourself. Parenting is the best and hardest thing most of us will ever do. I am incredibly passionate about giving parents the unparalleled support they need regardless of where they are in their journey. If you are interested in finding out more about the Parent Transition Coaching we offer then please reach out for a free chemistry session with me!
